Daily Scribble

My favorite breakfast food is grits.

My favorite tree, the pine.

My favorite place is far below

The Mason-Dixon line.

©2010Cleggo

Daily Scribble

Until he gets the last two parts,

His creature must stay put.

Until that time, Dr. Frankenstein waits

On the monster hand and foot.

©2010 Cleggo

Quote of the Day

A congressman is someone

Who wears a fancy suit,

And makes a living buying friends

With other people’s loot.

©Cleggo

Quote of the Day

When morning comes,

I suggest you not

Obstruct my path

To the coffee pot.

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

It was Mary Ann or Ginger

When I was just a lad,

Nowadays I’m thinking,

Mrs. Howell’s not so bad.

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

When you and I communicate,

And things start heading south,

You let me know we’re both to blame.

Me, and my big mouth.

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

The truth is like a work of art,

Preserved, its worth increases,

But doesn’t have much value 

When displayed in bits and pieces.

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

If I should die

Before I wake,

I pray the Lord

Fix His mistake.

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

Walk into a Hooters

And you know right off the bat,

No matter what you order,

You’ll be served in nothing flat. 

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

The growth of a tree

Caused the sidewalk’s upheaval,

So, the cause of my fall

Was the root of all evil.  

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

She filled her lips with collagen

And now, gets quite annoyed

When traffic cops keep asking

If her air-bags have deployed.

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

Perhaps someone should sharpen

A sturdy bamboo shoot,

And shove it through the ear canal

Of Joran van der Sloot.

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

“I hate to say 
I told you so.”

Is the biggest little 
Lie I know.

My heart just breaks 
Into a song,

When I am right 
And you are wrong.

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

I keep my anger in a cage.

It’s ready when I need it.

So, I suggest you read the sign–

CAUTION: DO NOT FEED IT!

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

"Welcome to the club",

Said the keeper of the gate,

"Here’s a list of rules 

And all the people that we hate."

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

On a field trip to the Capitol,

The tour guide showed the pupils,

Where legislators shed their coats,

Umbrellas, hats and scruples.

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

Alone, our gifts are meager,

Combined, they’re quite immense.

So, every person in the world,

Should give me fifty cents.

-Cleggo

Fryin' Pan

©2010 Dave Clegg

I woke up with a headache.

I was layin’ on the kitchen floor.

Starin’ up at the ceiling

I don’t remember a whole lot more.

The dog was lickin’ the water

That you poured on my face.

I didn’t even know what state I was in,

But it wasn’t a state of grace.

When the room came into focus

I could see you standin’ there.

Instead of a look of pity,

You were shootin’ me an angry glare.

Honey, I was floored when you told me

I’ve been a fool and a selfish man.

You could’a knocked me over with a feather

You didn’t need that fryin’ pan.

Fryin’ pan,

In your hand.

Helpin’ me

To understand.

I’ve lost as many

Of the brain cells I can stand,

So, please don’t use,

That fryin’ pan. 

Now, Darlin’, can you tell me

Just how you think I might

Reach a higher consciousness

When I’m out like a light.

So take that cast-iron skillet

And chunk it in the garbage can.

Unless you’re cookin’ cornbread,

You don’t need that fryin’ pan.

Fryin’ pan,

In your hand.

Helpin’ me

To understand.

I’ve lost as many

Of the brain cells I can stand

So, please don’t use,

That fryin’ pan. 

Quote of the Day

Some folks vote Republican,

Some vote Democrat.

I vote for the one who wears

The most outrageous hat. 

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

I love God sincerely, 

And, I love hating you.

If only I could find a way

To reconcile the two.

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

The story goes, it took a beer 

To make Milwaukee famous.

And on the average, three or four 

To make an ignoramus.

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

What sound do young bucks listen for

Throughout the mating season?

I’m not sure, but you you can bet

It’s not the voice of reason. 

-Cleggo

Quote of the Day

Said Ken to Barbie, “Take my hand. 

Let's trip the light fantastic”

Barbie answered, "Sorry Doll,

We’re made of moulded plastic.”

-Cleggo