Daily Scribble

The world is ripe

With reckless dopes

Who lead their flocks

Down slippery slopes.

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

I’m eighteen now. Accept the fact

I’m grown up, just like you.

And if you don’t, I’ll hold my breath

Until my face turns blue.

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

I gazed into the eyes of my sweetheart

And sang this Hank Williams quotation;

“Do you love me half as much as I love you?”

She replied, “That’s a close approximation.”

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

According to numerous studies,

The findings are perfectly clear.

All doubt is removed, the research has proved...

...Whatever your heart holds dear.

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

I missed some great football for time with my wife,

And never once whined or fussed. 

Ninety percent– pure, undying love.

(Ten percent– undying lust.)

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

Searching for The Promised Land

Is not an easy task. 

The road you take to get there

All depends on who you ask.

©2010 Cleggo

Safety Patrol

©2010 Dave Clegg

Chrome badge on a white belt 

Across my chest, makes the young girls melt. 

Hard hat with a tight chin strap

Third grade punks never give me no crap.

Got no gun but I’m still in charge.

I’ll never be Captain, but I might make Sarge.

Twelve years old, going on thirteen,

A grade-school crosswalk guardin’ machine. 

I’m the Safety Patrol.  

I’m in control. 

When you’re crossin’, son, 

You better walk, don’t run.

I’m the Safety Patrol. 

Just last week Johnny Belvedere

Just couldn’t wait for me to give the “all clear”.

Ran across the road like a dumb dang fool.

Now he’s doin’ hard time– after school. 

I’m the Safety Patrol. 

I’m in control. 

When you’re crossin’, son, 

You better walk, don’t run.

I’m the Safety Patrol. 

If you’re in your car don’t you be no jerk.

Better stop right there, let me do my work.

Don’t go honkin’ that beep beep beep,

I can memorize a tag number in my sleep.

I’m the Safety Patrol. 

I’m in control. 

When you’re crossin’, son, 

You better walk, don’t run.

I’m the Safety Patrol. 

I’m the Safety Patrol. 

Daily Scribble

You wonder why you’re crashing, kid?

Simple. Here’s the deal:

You’ve got the pedal to the floor

With no one at the wheel.

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

When I was young and rowdy,

I called adults “antiques”

Now, I call the cops on kids

With pants below their cheeks. 

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

You challenge me to lose some weight?

OK, I’ll think it over.

Right here on my sofa with

This box of Russell Stover. 

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

Sunday brings 

A new beginning,

Monday brings

A new day sinning.

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

I used to have a narcissistic

Self-absorbed complexion. 

It’s all cleared up, so now I LOVE

To stare at my reflection.

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

Tummy tuck, facelift,

Botox, liposuction,

Rhinoplasty, implants...

–Ready for seduction.

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

I feel like a million bucks,

So imagine my frustration. 

My self-worth keeps declining  

When adjusted for inflation.

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

Sometimes my dog seems to show

The aptitude to think.

Other times he likes to 

Roll around in things that stink.

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

I don’t care how true it is

That sin is universal. 

I am good and you are bad.

There is no role reversal.

©2010 Cleggo

The Ballad of Paw Paw's Brain

My favorite uncle is recovering from brain surgery earlier this week to remove a malignant tumor. He asked his daughter Kim to see if I would write a funny poem about his ordeal. I dug up one of my earlier Scribbles and wrote this around it. 

It all began when Paw Paw

Started acting kinda strange.

He tried to buy a Cadillac 

With seven bucks in change. 

There was no doubt about it.

We all knew, “Something’s wrong.” 

He’d shout, “I’m Ethel Merman!”

As he broke into a song. 

To get him to a doctor

And avoid his fits of rage

We had to say the waiting room

Was the concert hall, backstage. 

We winked and said, “Now, Ethel, 

Before your show tonight,

We’re going to check you over.

Make sure everything’s just right.”

We led him to the “Green Room”

Dressed him in his “sequined gown”

Said, “You can take the stage, but first,

You MUST meet Dr. Brown.”

Next stop was the CAT scan room,

We said, “Now lay right there.

This machine will add a little

Glitter to your hair.” 

We thought a brain scan might reveal

A tumor, but instead,

They found potatoes, milk and clams.

Man, what a chowder-head. 

Dr. Brown said, “If we don’t

Remove that pretty soon, 

There’s a chance he might end up 

As crazy as a loon.” 

The surgery was scheduled

The nurses wheeled him in.

The doctor got her hack saw,

And said, “Let the games begin.”

She did the chowder-ectomy

And deemed it a success. 

The nurses let the hound dogs in

To clean up all the mess. 

So, now he’s resting comfortably 

In Post-Op down the hall. 

His head looks like they drew a face

On a purple bowling ball. 

There’s still a bumpy road ahead,

But Paw Paw, you can do it.

‘Cause God and friends and family

Are going to help you through it!

Daily Scribble

To feast on information 

Is the joy of any thinker.

But please don’t talk when your mouth is full

Of hook, line and sinker.

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

You always curse the darkness, 

But, it’s clear, you’d see just fine, 

If you would just remove your head

From where the sun don’t shine.

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

Some folks hear the truth

And have that moment of “Aha!”

Others cover up their ears

And blabber, “La, la, la”.

©2020 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

As we ride the road to ruin,

We play our silly game. 

Who will get the credit,

And who will get the blame. 

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

Whining is like running

On a treadmill at full-blast.

The noise is irritating

And it gets you nowhere, fast.

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

Call it just an inkling,

Or a psychic premonition, 

Somehow, I just know

There’s no such thing as intuition.

©2010 Cleggo