Daily Scribble

When I command my dog to speak,

She barks and wags her tail. 

When I command my cat to speak,

He just says, “Go to hell.” 

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

An optimist at Armageddon, 

With death and destruction unfurled. 

Says with a hum,

“Hey, why so glum?

It's not the end of the world.”

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

If I make it to eighty,

I sure hope that I’m

Still taking the stairs

Two or three at a time.

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

Politicians talk the talk

And still, they break the bank. 

Now, it’s time they walk the walk,

Somebody, get a plank. 

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

For my next trick, ladies and gentlemen,

Please direct your attention right here.

With the magical words, “Time for a bath”

I will make this dog disappear. 

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

The national debt is a crisis

Of such an absurd magnitude.

Political hacks,  

Say, “We’ve got your backs.”

In other words, folks, we’re screwed.

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

Passions can sometimes go haywire

For issues that impact us all,

But I can’t understand how it gets out of hand

For a game that is played with a ball. 

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

I prayed to be off on the weekends.

Sometimes you get more than you seek. 

So, thanks to God, I’m quirky and odd,

And off every day of the week.

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

Some things aren’t so easy

To clearly verbalize. 

Like “She sells seashells”,

And “I apologize”.

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

I quit my job and told my boss

To kiss my derriere.

This email from Nigeria

Says I’m now a millionaire. 

©2011 Cleggo

My Swell Valentine

My Swell Valentine

For a couple of years in high school, I suffered from an embarrassing condition where a part of my face would swell for no apparent reason. Sometimes it was my cheek. It looked as if I had a huge chaw of tobacco (minus the brown goo around the lips). Other times it would be my entire upper lip. It would grow to enormous proportions. Sort of like a collagen treatment gone terribly wrong. This was not a good situation for a teenager whose self-confidence was shaky at best. 

The timing of these events was the worst part. It seemed to coincide with my social calendar. A day or two before a big date, I would feel a small itchy sensation which would evolve into a numb knot. By the time date night rolled around, there it was in all it’s hideous glory.  

One year, I was asked to emcee the Senior High Valentine banquet at our church. My date was a really cute girl named Tammy. A day or so before the big night, I felt that dreaded sensation. Initially, I considered hiding under my bed for a few days, but my sense of duty compelled me to carry on as planned. I don’t recall which part of my face swelled that night. I do remember being so embarrassed I couldn’t even walk Tammy to her door afterwards and never asked her out again. 

For years after that, my friend Robert would occasionally grab his upper lip and stretch it out when he saw me, as he smiled that great smile of his. It helped me to see the humor in it all. 

Have a swell Valentine’s Day. –Cleggo

Daily Scribble

My heart once burned for love

And I was always in the mood.

Nowadays, it seems to burn

From eating spicy food.

©2011

Daily Scribble

If everyone made Truth their sword

And Righteousness their shield,

The only thing we’d stand to lose,

Would be the battlefield.

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

I know, as a former perfectionist,

It’s something that’s way overrated. 

It never once made me perfect at all

Just very, very frustrated.

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

I can say with resolute, steadfast aplomb,

In the days that have passed and the days that will come,

Without hesitation, no trace of a doubt,

I haven’t a clue what I’m talking about.

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

Sometimes it’s true that less is more

My hair keeps getting thicker.

But only on the bathroom floor.

My noggin just gets slicker. 

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

God Bless you on your journey,

And should you find despair,

May it be what’s in the trunk

When your tire is out of air.

©2010 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

Funny how otherwise logical folks

Decide how long winter will last,

By watching a rodent crawl out of his hole

To see if a shadow is cast.

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

We should label every single brain

Of every mother’s son, 

With this notice: “BEST IF USED 

BEFORE AGE TWENTY-ONE.”

©2011 Cleggo

Daily Scribble

If you want to make it in this world,

Then, learn to use your noodle. 

And get your rear-end out of bed

Before the cock-a-doodle. 

©2011 Cleggo