Kick the Dog

Kick the Dog

© 2010 Dave Clegg

You’ve had a rotten day

Got more bills than you can pay

And your kid just burned his preschool to the ground

You stepped in chewing gum,

Blew your grill to kingdom come,

And your in-laws say their moving to your town.

Your boss screamed in your ear,

And your paycheck didn’t clear,

And you’re just plain sick and tired of being you,

You just can’t find success, 

And your life is one big mess, 

Well, listen buddy. Here’s what you should do:

Kick the dog

Kick him hard

Kick him clean

Across the yard

Then, punctuate your passion

With some profane dialogue

When you’re mad

Kick the dog.

Well, you’re stuck in a traffic jam

That’s worse than Vietnam

And some bozo dents the fender on your car

And you’d like to file a claim

But he says that you’re to blame,

And his brother is the man who wears the star.

Your neighbor thinks it’s cool

To blow his leaves into your pool

And his teenage son cuts donuts in your lawn

Your credit card expires

When there’s nails in all four tires

And you’d pull your hair out, but it’s already gone,

Kick the dog

Kick him hard

Kick him clean

Across the yard

Then, punctuate your passion

With some profane dialogue

When you’re mad

Kick the dog.

You’re trying to get some sleep

And you hear a “beep, beep, beep”

So you get up and you’re searching everywheres. 

Well, it’s dark so you can’t see

And you dislocate your knee

When you jam your toe and tumble down the stairs

Your rage is rising fast,

But your leg is in a cast

And you feel the need to launch into a rant

Everything inside of you

Knows exactly what to do,

But you’re standing there on crutches, so you can’t...

Kick the dog

Kick him hard

Kick him clean

Across the yard

Then, punctuate your passion

With some profane dialogue

When you’re mad

Kick the dog.

When you step on carpet tacks,

When you rip your brand new slacks

When they raise your income tax, 

Kick the dog.