Hayzoose

©2008 Dave Clegg

A while ago, I left The Home Depot

With supplies to build a tool shed.

Hit a bump in the road, nearly lost my load,

But I managed to keep a cool head.

I found me a spot in a parking lot

To check if everything was in order.

When, into the back, climbing onto my stack,

Was a man from south of the border.

I said, “Hey man, you don’t understand.

I don’t need your assistance.

Here’s a buck, now get off of my truck,

And don’t give me any resistance.”

His English wasn’t good, but he understood,

He said, “Please, amigo,

My name Hayzoose, I work for you

So I can feed my wife and bambino.”

Quit your cryin’ that’s no concern of mine.

Now get the heck off my lumber.

I counted, “One, two...” and said, “if I were you

I wouldn’t make me say the next number.”

He lowered his head and climbed out of the bed.

I guess I showed him who‘s boss.

But he kept on staring at the chain I was wearing,

Yeah, he wants to steal my gold cross!

I left him in the dust, now, it’s “home or bust”,

I couldn’t wait to use my new hammer!

Can you believe that jerk asking me for work!

They ought to lock him up in the slammer.

I was cursing the way things are today,

Wondering how much I can take,

When a semi truck put an end to my luck.

Smashed me flat as a pancake.

When I opened my eyes, to my surprise.

I was looking at a WalMart greeter.

But to my fright, he was dressed in white,

And the name tag said, ”St. Peter”.

Ol’ St. Pete said, “I‘d like you to meet...

And I just about fell to pieces!

”Well, I’ll be Mother Goose, is that you Hayzoose?”

He smiled and said, “Call me Jesus.”

He said, “I came to you to see what you would do.

But I guess you didn’t want to bother.

Remember, when you sneeze on the least of these,

You do the same to The Father.”

“If you, my son, were to help someone,

Would it really cause you that much trouble?”

I said, “Hold the phone! If I had only known,

I would’ve hired you and paid you double!”

He stood there awhile with a gentle smile

And placed a hand on my shoulder.

He said, “Do not fear, you’re welcome here,

But you’ll have to wait until you’re older.”

Next thing I knew, I was comin’ to.

Rearin‘ and ready for action.

I’ll make a brand new start with a brand new heart,

Soon as I get out of traction.