©2008 Dave Clegg
She used to be a beauty queen.
She had no need for Maybellene.
And then she got on up in years,
Small incisions behind her ears.
Face lifted once again,
And now her navel is on her chin.
I used to laugh, “It’s vanity!
Accept your fate with dignity.”
That was before I lost my youth.
Do I look old? Now, tell the truth.
Well, it just so happens,
These things happen.
They happen naturally.
But it wasn’t supposed to happen to me!
A while back, my Uncle Bill,
Started poppin’ Minoxodil.
Hair plugs fell flat.
Threw in the towel, bought a hat.
He used to cry, “Boo hoo!”
I used to laugh, “Looks good on you.”
That was before my hair got thinner.
Now I’m eatin’ crow for dinner.
Crows feet, spider veins,
Conversations on aches and pains.
I used to laugh, and poke fun.
That was before I became one.
Well, it just so happens,
These things happen.
They happen naturally.
But it wasn’t supposed to happen to me!
No, it wasn’t
supposed to happen
to me!
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