My favorite uncle is recovering from brain surgery earlier this week to remove a malignant tumor. He asked his daughter Kim to see if I would write a funny poem about his ordeal. I dug up one of my earlier Scribbles and wrote this around it.
It all began when Paw Paw
Started acting kinda strange.
He tried to buy a Cadillac
With seven bucks in change.
There was no doubt about it.
We all knew, “Something’s wrong.”
He’d shout, “I’m Ethel Merman!”
As he broke into a song.
To get him to a doctor
And avoid his fits of rage
We had to say the waiting room
Was the concert hall, backstage.
We winked and said, “Now, Ethel,
Before your show tonight,
We’re going to check you over.
Make sure everything’s just right.”
We led him to the “Green Room”
Dressed him in his “sequined gown”
Said, “You can take the stage, but first,
You MUST meet Dr. Brown.”
Next stop was the CAT scan room,
We said, “Now lay right there.
This machine will add a little
Glitter to your hair.”
We thought a brain scan might reveal
A tumor, but instead,
They found potatoes, milk and clams.
Man, what a chowder-head.
Dr. Brown said, “If we don’t
Remove that pretty soon,
There’s a chance he might end up
As crazy as a loon.”
The surgery was scheduled
The nurses wheeled him in.
The doctor got her hack saw,
And said, “Let the games begin.”
She did the chowder-ectomy
And deemed it a success.
The nurses let the hound dogs in
To clean up all the mess.
So, now he’s resting comfortably
In Post-Op down the hall.
His head looks like they drew a face
On a purple bowling ball.
There’s still a bumpy road ahead,
But Paw Paw, you can do it.
‘Cause God and friends and family
Are going to help you through it!
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