©2011 Cleggo
May the New Year bring much laughter,
And joy around your table.
May weevils not infest your flour,
Nor lint infest your navel.
May heretofore unruly kids
Behave beyond their ages.
And may you never feel the need
To lock them up in cages.
May the sound of screaming toddlers
Be forever hushed and gone.
And may the neighbor’s basset hounds
Not desecrate your lawn.
May all your bags be waiting
On the airport carousel.
And may you never learn what’s in
The meat at Taco Bell.
May all your socks be reunited
With their matching twin.
And may you add another year
And not another chin.
May you always pick the fastest line
When at the supermarket
And never leave your car
And not remember where you park it.
May your college sports team
Be the best in all the nation
And get away scot-free
With every ethics violation.
May you enjoy bizarre behavior
When there’s no one else around
May you breath air through your nose
Without that awful whistling sound.
May you not discover
That your father is Darth Vader.
May intestinal disturbance
Never foul your elevator.
May you only choose the shopping carts
Without the wobbly wheels.
And may your wife not catch you
In her lipstick and high heels.
May even your most awful jokes
Leave everyone in stitches.
And may you feast and never find
You’re too big for your britches.
May all your wealthy friends remain
Forever in your debt.
And may this year be better
Than the best of all years yet.
Cheers.
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