Gold Miner's Daughter

(to the tune of Coal Miner's Daughter)
©Dave Clegg

I’m a courtin’ a gold miner’s daughter.

She’s got more gold than the ocean has water.

Well, I’m poor, but I’m resourceful,

And it’s made her folks remorseful

For the braces and the nose-job they never got her.

She’s the saddest thing you ever laid eyes on,

And she’d take the first poor slob who comes along.

I’m proud that slob is me

‘Cause I’ll be set, financially. 

When I’m married to the gold miner’s daughter.

I met her at the dog show late last year.

She won first prize for the floppiest pair of ears.

Man, she made my stomach rumble,

Until I heard she was worth a bundle.

She’s an only child and gold miner’s daughter.

Her mom and dad don’t think my love is true.

But no one could love her gold the way I do.

I’d marry her tonight,

But only ‘cause the price is right.

Yeah, she’s ugly, but she’s a gold miner’s daughter.

I’m prayin’ that her folks will eventually

Stop sickin’ them dang Rottweilers on me.

Well, they can chew ‘til my skin is raw,

But I’m gonna be their son-in-law.

Then you can call me MISTER Gold Miner’s Daughter.