That's the Kinda Guy I Am

©Dave 2008 Clegg

I help little old ladies across the street

‘Cause that’s the kinda guy I am.

I always lower the toilet seat,

‘Cause that’s the kinda guy I am.

Calm, cool, and collected,

Even in a traffic jam.

Picture of perfection,

Ready for inspection, 

That’s the kinda guy I am.

If I find a dime, I’ll turn it in,

That’s the kinda guy I am.

If we race, I hope you win,

That’s the kinda guy I am.

Courageous as a lion,

Gentle as a lamb.

Picture of perfection,

Ready for inspection, 

That’s the kinda guy I am.

I’m a blood and organ donor.

That’s the kinda guy I am.

If I’m late for home, I’ll phone her.

That’s the kinda guy I am.

When all the world is bitter,

I’m sweeter than a candied yam.

Picture of perfection,

Ready for inspection, 

That’s the kinda guy I am.

I’ll stand and let you have my seat,

That’s the kinda guy I am.

If your tired, I’ll rub your feet.

That’s the kinda guy I am.

In the midst of all this discontent,

I’m happy as a clam.

Picture of perfection,

Ready for inspection, 

That’s the kinda guy I am.

I obey the traffic laws.

That’s the kinda guy I am.

I volunteer, just because.

That’s the kinda guy I am.

And when I file my taxes,

I never cheat Uncle Sam.

Picture of perfection,

Ready for inspection, 

That’s the kinda guy I am.

If I have two, I’ll give you one.

That’s the kinda guy I am.

But, don’t take both, I’ve got a gun.

That’s the kinda guy I am.

If you want to go on living,

Then buddy, you’d better scram.

‘Cause I’ll count to seven,

Then I’ll send you to Heaven...

‘Cause that’s the kinda guy I am.