SPAM

©2008 Dave Clegg

I booted my Mac to check my e-mail.

When I clicked on the in-box it started to swell.

Must’ve been nine hundred messages deep,

And nary a one did I de-sire to keep.

Well, being the curious soul that I am,

I had me a look at a chunk of that spam.

The assumptions about me made me so proud.

I’m broke, bald, and lonely, and under-endowed.

You could hang all the scoundrels who spread this pollution,

But I have a much more effective solution.

Let’s round up the turkeys who fall for these lies

And repeat these words until they realize…

There’s no magic potion to re-grow your hair,

And there’s no way to add any inches down there.

You ain’t won the lottery. It’s a scam.

And you’re the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.

You’re just the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.

There’s no better way to gain a man’s trust,

Than to play to his greed, vanity and lust.

All logic and reason get stuck in the mud

For dreams of becoming a rich, handsome stud.

Now, spammers are evil, no argument here.

But without willing dupes, they’d all disappear.

So to all of you dim-witted, gullible fools,

Pay close attention to the following rules.

There’s no magic potion to re-grow your hair,

And there’s no way to add any inches down there.

You ain’t won the lottery. It’s a scam.

And you’re the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.

You’re just the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.

Now, finally! Here’s one that could be legit.

A stock with potential, it's a guaranteed hit!

All I need, now, is to choose an amount,

Then hand them the keys to my checking account.

There’s no magic potion to re-grow your hair,

And there’s no way to add any inches down there.

You ain’t won the lottery. It’s a scam.

And you’re the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.

You’re just the dumb sucker who bites on the spam.